When the chips are down

Yo! Pringles are obviously evil. No potato cutting woman or man could cut that exactly that many number of times with that weird rough texture. Look at the front of a box of pringles, and basically they are fronted by Daniel Day Lewis from Gangs of New York, minus an awesome hat. Clearly Pringle man is a villain (the mustache is a dead give away, but the bow tie is also a subtly suggestive sinister sign).

How about kettle chips though, are they evil? Look at the font: oldskool sort of Grandads Werthers Original Spinoff Chips Factory stylings, so far so nice. And they only use sunflower oil (the packet boasts 100 percent) so that's nice, right? AND there's a man stirring a giant vat of crisps in a giant cauldron, so look they are fried in someones hands ( hand fried or something). It's about as homely as an apple pie waiting on a window sill to cool down to avoid scoldification. So is it playing the Knight against Pringle The Dragon?

Hell NO!

The damn chips are muntafunkingly addictive, rendering moot any sort of £40 a month gym membership you (I) might have. And the innocent trappings? It's all an obfuscation of the evil intent! Villains don't act like "mustache twirling with one hand ladies on train tracks with the other and tying knots with the other hand" types, they're far more neat and charming with their nefarious ways.

Blaaady evil crisps.

Also 100% sunflower oil is probably an accurate description (with a 10 percent error, natch) of each crisp.