i am working at four bloody am in the morning and i hit the magical performance wall.
the wall says
"fuck off you idiot you hit me, the magical performance wall, cos you don't know shit"
to which i reply
"you are correct I 'don't know shit' but i disagree with your tone"
to which he replies
"hmm, maybe you are right-maybe that's why no-one sends me any Christmas cards"
to which i follow up with the witty retort
"wait a minute you don't get Christmas cards cos walls don't celebrate Christmas"
to which he snaps back at me
" don't discriminate against christian walls"
then i reply humbly
"hmm sorry about that. that must depress you around Christmas time"
"yes it does"
"maybe that's why you are so grumpy"
"no that's not it, its cos i lost my pet snail the other day"
"Snails are evil, i wrote this blog about it once-explained it an everything"
"I didn't read it"
"aah don't feel guilty, you don't even have a computer"
"I don't feel guilty I'm merely stating a fact"
"oh.. well.. hmm.. i think ill be off then"
"wait you haven't even seen my party trick"
"whats that"
"ill show you"
the wall then proceeded to burn me to a crisp using his fiery breath of doom. but put me out in time using a bottle of Vimto mixed with diet coke. this meant i wast cooked and sweet tasting- much like a honey roasted peanut. i shall never mock a honey roasted peanut ever again.
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