#1(people)

I saw the stunning Miss Jones today, to be honest (for once) I do not actually know what her name is, however she looked like Miss Jones. She was stunning, as I mentioned, but she also rode a bicycle, I did not see her do this- she did however, wear the reflective gubbins that a cyclist would wear, and had her trousers tucked into her socks. This gave her stunningness a charm with a nod towards nerdi/geekiness which only added to the majestic (I use that word a lot) coolness of the woman. (She also carried a fold up bicycle, which also hinted at her transport of choice :P)

Next, there was a dead body outside the train station today, as I was collecting my money from the machine des monies, the two people in front of me didn’t seem to notice or care about the bin liner wrapped body. There could only be two explanations

1) the two people in front were involved with the dastardly scheme, and felt that a non-chalant appearance near the body would deflect conspicion, (conspiracy-suspicion) this seemed likely until I realised that in my fear I was also acting quite cool around the body. I quickly thought of another explanation

2) it was a homeless person sleeping

I preferred number 2 as it meant the cops wouldn’t be involved (always a positive) also I saw the body move as if it was breathing. And telling the people in front of the cash point to shut the fuck up.

(you can sing this next line). There was a cool guy, with the sunnies and the black jacket. Trying to out Neo (can stop singing already) Mister Reeves. “Look at me I’m the baddest mofo in the world, no-the whole city”- he probably said to himself in the morning as he placed his bad ass dark glasses on at half past six in the morning.

Of course this image was appropriately broken by the man swearing like he needed to say at least a million expletives before nine o clock to honour some contract with the devil. As he was swearing he was ranting about a taxi (in Gujarati which gave the whole incident an even cheesier bollywood feel to it) and then in comedic fashion dropped his bus pass, ran fifty yards and ran back, (swearing all the way no less).

I laughed at him. I felt guilty about this after a bit because the poor man was obviously fucked over somehow (possibly by the aforementioned taxi). I chuckled, aloud to myself, in the middle of the city centre. This made me feel a little self conscious, as I was mocking a “madman” yet I was talking to myself and laughing aloud- this moment of self awareness made me stop.

The order things happened does not imply the order that they are written. (or the other way round)